me at 33

 I'm 33 today. It's bizarre to see the number in print because I feel about 18 on the inside (and I do a great job of pretending that I don't notice that the outside is looking bounds beyond 18). But everytime the weight of these 30-something birthdays start to creep up on me I stop and think about everything I know now that I didn't have a CLUE about then and I sigh a deep sigh of gratitude.

I've got gray hairs and a toddler on my hip and I really love my life - even when I complain like an ingrate. I am grateful for the lessons I learned in my 20s and I'm even okay with how much (SO FREAKING MUCH) I miss the ease of that life. But, the lessons of the past have given me deep, meaningful friendships. The bad seeds have been weeded out and room has been made for such abundantly rewarding new friendships, too.

In my 30s I truly appreciate that marriage allows me to be creative and expressive and I'm so thankful I chose a partner who values those things as much as I do. He truly teaches me how to live responsibly and confidently. Oh, Dfab. I might be a real pain in your ass some days but you are mine all mine and we are so lucky. And don't even get me started on our little Bird b/c I'll just burst into tears. Motherhood opens you up so wide that you can almost feel your heart swelling to burst (but in the best possible way, of course).

Here are some things I've learned about me in the past 33 years OR a list of things I now accept about myself:
1. I'd rather be Mila's mom than anything else in the world.
2. I am not an optimist and I'm not a pessimist. I'm also not a realist. But for me, the glass is and will always be half full.
3. I don't always want to be in PR but I like it more and more the more and more I do it MY way.
4. I hate that I don't live in the same town as Rachel & Nicki. But the missing makes me love and not take a second for granted.
5. I am a ducks-in-a-row type girl and my friends love me anyway. (Right, Marsh?)
6. I can't blame my parents for my gray hair. I blame my 20s...and my old agency...and working for big oil and...
7. I love sci-fi. I do. I don't have a Vulcan costume or anything but I love the creation of something that doesn't exist and making it feel so real.
8. If I were 10, I'd be in love with Justin Bieber but right now I want to throat punch him.
9. I am still boy crazy. I just talk about it less. Maturity? (I love you, Bradley Cooper...)
10. I hate fixing my hair.

xoxo