renewed perspective

I woke up with a bit of renewed perspective today. I woke up (way too freaking early again) thinking about what I HAD to do today. The list is pretty small which should have felt like a YAY but instead it made me feel like a loser.

How am I accounting for the hours in my day? Before the baby I kept busy with clients, lunches, errands, chores, friends and nights out followed by days spent recovering. Now, I spend my days chasing a tiny human, keeping up with house work, running to the store to replenish our milk and banana supply.

I hear myself saying these kinds of things all the time. But the simple fact is, I DO have some free time. I just don't use it wisely. I use it play Facebook, which - let's face it - is NOT improving my life in any real way. I also check my email. Obsessively. I developed my email habit back in 2000 and I doubt I will ever change. My old job made me email paranoid and so I check my email constantly. Blech.

But while I'm wrapped up in all these other tasks I have these ideas floating through my head. Characters, story lines, topics and thoughts just waiting to be written down and flushed out and removed from my brain. So I'm adopting a renewed perspective on my life. It's not about time, it's how I'm spending my time. I'm gonna spend more wisely...or at least try to.

Realization is half the journey, eh?