12/9 julia, julia, julia

I watched Julie and Julia last night. I loved it. I haven't really been able to stop thinking about the movie b/c I somehow felt connected to the story...loosely.

I felt envious of Julia Child. I felt full of admiration for her, too. Just someone in possession of herself living out her passions and being who she is. That voice, her imposing height. Everything. It probably didn't help that Meryl Streep plays her in the movie b/c I heart Meryl. And the modern-day characted, Julie. I identify with her immesely. Working in a job she doesn't love and in transition with her life she takes a chance on something she really wants to do and it's super hard and it doesn't go smoothly and it disappoints her over and over again.

That's what I haven't been able to stop thinking about. Disappointment. I'm so afraid of disappointing myself or my husband or making a mistake that I feel stalled in changing my life. I just had a baby...I just got married...David has been SO busy... All of these things are true. And they happen in the lives of every person, every where, every year.

In the movie, Julia says "no excuses, no explanations..." She means that you don't need to point out your mistakes, to just carry on as if everything is how it should be. That's true. But I think I need to take it in different ways  - don't call attention to my mistakes (because who really fucking cares?) and stop making excuses and exp(comp)laining...It's true.